


Blame

by Semi_problematic



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-25
Updated: 2017-11-25
Packaged: 2019-02-06 17:08:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12822138
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Semi_problematic/pseuds/Semi_problematic
Summary: Lukas quit motocross and no one knows why.





	Blame

Lukas had been angry since the dinner with Helen and Gabe. He was angry at himself and at his dad and just at the world. Why couldn't it be easier? Why did Philip have to move to Tivoli? Why did everything have to be changing? Why did everyone expect him to be anything but himself? The words buzzed through Lukas' mind and he tried his best to quiet them down with any alcohol he could get his hands on.

For some reason he thought once he left their house and went to Rose's that it would be easier but he was wrong. Everyone wanted to talk to him and Rose kept touching him and clinging to him. It made him sick. Or maybe that was just the drink in his cup. Whatever it was he just wanted to ride off. Ride away from this town and away from everyone in it. Even Philip.

He didn't hate Philip and that's what made everything with him harder. He couldn't quit Philip no matter how hard he tried. The only way it could stop is if one left and right now Lukas was ready to be the one to leave. Philip was twisting everything around and it was killing Lukas. He was killing Lukas. Whenever Lukas saw him it was just everything happening all over again and with that on top of the fact he was dating Rose it was too much. 

The music was loud but Lukas could still hear a voice calling his name. He knew the voice but he didn't want to turn around and see it. If he saw him it would be real. He had to turn around when he heard Rose start talking to him. He whipped around and walked Philip backwards, ignoring everything he was saying. 

"Leave." He said as loud as he could manage, shoving Philip back.

Philip kept talking, the music drowning out his words that were slurred and dropping in alcohol. 

"Go." He stepped off of the porch, pushing Philip back even more, his heart breaking with every staggering step. He could hear the people crowding around behind him, cheering him on, but all Lukas was focused on was getting Philip away.

Philip pushed back, shoving Lukas' arms away. "Lukas, please, just.. give.. give me something. Give me this." He was begging. Lukas didn't know why.

"I said go! Stop being such a clingy little bitch!" He shoved Philip and Philip fell back on the ground. He staggered to his feet, grabbing Lukas' for balance.

"Lukas, please, baby.." He gasped out, each blow of Lukas' hands against his chest, knocking the wind out of him. "I need to talk to you." 

"We've never even talked!" Lukas shouted, extra loud, hoping that everyone around him heard. It was a bad lie, Lukas knew that, why would Philip be here if he and Lukas had never talked? It didn't add up. He prayed no one was sober enough to figure it out.

The cheers grew louder and his shoves grew harder. Philip looked up at him with a broken look on his face, his cheeks red and stained with tears. He grabbed at Lukas' hand each time he shoved him. Lukas knew that Philip wouldn't mind him hitting him, in a sick way, because at least then Lukas would be touching him. Lukas' chest ached as they stumbled through the grass, tugging and pushing at each other.

Philip had stopped yelling at him, now each time Lukas pushed him he just whispered Lukas' name. The same whisper that Philip breathed out when their bodies were pressed together and their lips grazing over one another. Lukas punched Philip in the jaw so hard it hurt his knuckles. 

"I hate you!" The scream tore through Lukas like a blazing fire in a forest. It burned in his chest and made his throat sore. That didn't stop him, though. He needed to get Philip away."You're nothing but a creep and I hate you!" 

Philip stopped pushing, stopped tugging, and stopped walking. His heart broke for the millionth time right in front of Lukas' eyes. New tears rolled down his cheeks but he didn't say anything. He didn't move to wipe them away either. All he did was stare at Lukas and all Lukas did was stare back. The crowd was silent, all you could hear from them was their heavy breathing and a few hushed whispers. They, like Philip and Lukas, knew this wasn't over. They wanted to know how it'll end.

Philip rubbed his jaw and slowly walked towards him, pushing up on his toes as if he was going to kiss Lukas. Something inside Lukas snapped at that moment. Philip couldn't kiss him or even get near him. Philip couldn't talk to him. It'll ruin it all, everything he's built and all the friendships he's made. People will talk. And Lukas could not have them talking. 

Lukas walked Philip backwards through the rest of the yard, Philip stumbling around, his hands clutching at Lukas' shirt.

"It's me.. just.. talk to me. We don't have.. not here. We can go somewhere else.." Philips pleading voice was back and it made Lukas' heart ache even more. He could feel it throughout his entire body. "I know you.. I know you want these people to like you.. we can go to the woods or.. or just anywhere.. I just need you right now, please." The tears came quicker down Philips face. Lukas wanted to wipe them away. 

Lukas punched him again, but this time Philip didnt fall. He just stumbled back and grabbed onto something. Onto Lukas' bike. Philips tears danced across Lukas' knuckles. Lukas wiped them away. 

"Get over here, bitch." Lukas hissed through clenched teeth. "You ready to get your ass beat again?" 

Philip didn't put his hands up. He didn't try to fight it. The cheers were back and they were louder than ever.

"Beat that faggot!" 

"He's a fucking creep!"

"I can't believe you have a stalker!" 

"Just hit him! What's stopping you?!" 

Lukas knew what was stopping him and it made him feel dizzy. Lukas tightened his fists and hit Philip one more time. The blow knocked Philip backwards, off of his feet, his head twisting in an unnatural direction and slamming down against the front of Lukas' bike. His body fell limp onto the grass and everyone fell silent. Lukas' chest was heaving, his hands still balled up into fists.

"Is he moving?" A girls voice broke throughthe crowd. It was Rose. "Someone check if he's moving!"

A guy Lukas didn't know the name of knelt down next to Philip and touched his neck gently. Even in the moonlight Lukas could see the boy go pale. "There's no pulse.." 

"Are you sure you did it right?" Bodies shoved past Lukas and all took their turns bending down and feeling for a heartbeat. None of them could find any. 

Lukas stood still. Frozen. He had turned into what he feared most. He was a killer.

"Lukas.." one of the girls sighed. "Get out of here."

Another boy nodded. "We're gonna call 911 and say he fell. You can get out of here."

"It won't end well if you stay." Rose whispered. "They'll blame you. You don't need that."

Lukas nodded and climbed into his bike, rolling it around Philip before slipping his key into the ignition and turning it on. As he drove away he could see the way everyone looked at him. He was no longer the cool kid who could ride a bike. He was the dumb party guy who took it too far. He killed someone.

Everyone tried to cover it up for him. Everyone at the party said he fell. Lukas told Bo and Bo told the police he fell, too. They were all trying to protect Lukas, but not in the right way. Lukas' wasn't safe with blood on his hands and Ryan on the loose. He was safe with Philip, being with him in some place only they go. But Philip was gone now. Lukas told the police everything. He told Helen how he killed her son while looking her right in the eye.

No charges were pressed. It all blew over like an accident Bo even covered it up so his motocross fans, agents and sponsors couldn't find it. He told Lukas he still wanted him to have a life after this. Lukas laughed at that. His only life was with Philip and it only lasted a few months. 

Two weeks after Philip died, Lukas quit motocross. Not only did he tell his father he would never ride again. He also went out to the barn and beat each and every motorcycle he had with a bat, ruining it. He buried the keys. He couldn't do it anymore.

Lukas quit motocross and no one knows why. It wasn't his fault. 

Lukas knew why he quit, though. Every time he washed his bike he could still see the blood, no matter how clean it had gotten. Every time metal clanked against it he could still see Philip falling and hitting it. No matter how many times Lukas scrubbed his knuckles until they were bloody and sore, he could still feel the crack of Philips skull against them. And it was too much. He just couldn't do it anymore.

Lukas quit motocross and everyone knew why. They just didn't want to admit it. They excused it. But Lukas was sick and tired of makinf excuses. He was done.


End file.
